Some of the links in this post take you to my more personal blog where there is some less-polished sharing. And swearing. Just so we're clear...
When my beloved teacher, Mary, was here in December for our workshop, I was blessed to spend a bit of time with her.
In the process of catching up, I shared about my kidney stone, the forthcoming culmination of our first Teacher Training program, and other bits about the pace and fullness of life.
She looked at me. And then looked me again… and this time she looked through me. Through the surface layers of excitement and adrenaline and momentum.
And she said, “You need some time off.”
“Oh ya,” I said. “Ron and I will probably take a weekend away after the new year.”
“No, you need a month off.”
Even with the sophistication of her british accent, I thought she’d totally lost her mind.
After some banter and a list of all the reasons I couldn’t take that much time off, her response was, “That’s exactly why you need to do it.”
Her point is multifaceted… that the intensity of our lives in this culture is such that we often don’t even know how tired or depleted we are.
That I am not being true to the practice or a good example for our community if I don’t take care of myself.
That I have been working radically hard, long hours, and I need a radical break.
While this idea has been hard to digest, it has certainly stuck with me.
A month off of teaching? A month for my own practice? A month for me?
I already knew my word for the year was going to be self-care. I knew the holidaze, a whirlwind trip to NYC, and Haramara were all coming up, and come the end of January I would be tired.
Still, the committee of critics in my head was busy:
You have to be at the studio or everything will fall apart.
Followed by the popular,
No one will care if you’re at the studio, in fact it might be better without you.
There were many reasons like these, all based in fear, smallness and ego.
It was perhaps these reasons that made it all the more clear that I needed to take time off. A month off.
And so… I will be taking the month of February off of teaching! I am excited. Elated, really. And so so thankful that I have the ability to do this.
I will be at the studio (probably more) soaking up the good love that our amazing instructors give so freely and skillfully. I will be posting updates on both blogs (the mild here, the spicy here). I will be taking it easy, lying around, and not feeling bad about it.
I never would have done this if it weren’t for Mary. And maybe you read this and know in your heart that you need a break… be it a month, a day, an afternoon. As she promised to do to me, I will hound you until you take care of yourself.
And all the reasons you say you can’t do it are just the reasons you need to.
