Yes!

It is such a happy little word, so optimistic. It feels good to say, the way the tongue tickles the top of the mouth in a hiss.

Yes, I’d love to have tea with you. Yes, I’ll volunteer at that event. Yes, I can have it done by 5.

What about the times when the answer is, Yes, I need to take care of myself in a different way right now. Or, Yes, I need to crawl back in bed and read a book.

And what that probably really means is No.

I mean, we’re always saying No to something, just by saying Yes to something else.

Yes, I’ll go to your party, which means, No, I don’t get to take a bath tonight.

Or Yes, I’ll join the holiday gift exchange, translated as No, I’m not honoring my budget and personal boundaries.

With holiday obligations and opportunities on top of our already overflowing schedules, maybe this is as good of a time as any to reconsider what I am saying Yes to.

And how I’m saying No. I’m practicing right now (try it with me!) — big, genuine smile, as much love in the voice as possible… No.

Well, it will take a little practice. People-pleasing Yes habits are hard to break! In the meantime, let us consider how we spend our time this season… here’s Naomi Shihab Nye:

The Art of Disappearing

When they say Don’t I know you?

say no.
When they invite you to the party

remember what parties are like

before answering.
Someone telling you in a loud voice

they once wrote a poem.

Greasy sausage balls on a paper plate.

Then reply.
If they say we should get together.

say why?
It’s not that you don’t love them any more.

You’re trying to remember something

too important to forget.

Trees. The monastery bell at twilight.

Tell them you have a new project.

It will never be finished.
When someone recognizes you in a grocery store

nod briefly and become a cabbage.

When someone you haven’t seen in ten years

appears at the door,

don’t start singing him all your new songs.

You will never catch up.
Walk around feeling like a leaf.

Know you could tumble any second.

Then decide what to do with your time.